Introduction – what is a Living Wake?
A Living Wake is a re-imagining of the traditional Irish Wake.
A traditional wake took place before a funeral with the person who has died still present, often in an open casket.
The history of the Wake is rich and layered, woven with myth, legend, and diverse interpretations. For a deeper dive into its origins and significance, visit Irish Urns, where you’ll find detailed accounts of the Wake’s fascinating history and its enduring purpose.
Is a Living Wake the same as a Funerals for the Living?
While the terms “living wake” and “funerals for the living” are often used interchangeably, they do have distinct meanings. Both ceremonies allow individuals to celebrate their life with loved ones while they are still alive, offering an opportunity for connection, reflection, and closure. However, there are subtle differences between the two.
A living wake typically focuses more on celebration and social interaction. It often takes the form of a gathering where friends and family come together to share stories, memories, and enjoy each other’s company in a more relaxed setting.
A living funeral or funerals for the living, on the other hand, might take on a more formal tone, closely resembling a traditional funeral service. It provides an opportunity for the individual to hear and witness the tributes and farewells from those closest to them, often including elements like eulogies, music, or rituals that would be present in a posthumous funeral.
Both a living wake and a funerals for the living serve as meaningful ways to honor a person’s life, but they differ in their approach and atmosphere
Exploring the Origins and Significance of a Living Wake
#1 Celebrating Life
The central purpose of a What is a Living Wake is to celebrate life. Unlike a traditional funeral, which takes place after someone has passed away, a Living Funeral or Living Funerals—often referred to as a Living Wake—provides an opportunity to celebrate and enjoy the tribute while you’re still here.
This preemptive celebration allows everyone to come together and honor your life or that of a loved one in a meaningful and joyous way. With my Living Wakes, you also have the chance to focus on your life story and record it as a lasting legacy, creating a memorable experience before a traditional funeral is ever needed.
#2 How does a Living Wake differ from a Traditional Wake?
The clue is in the title… a Living Wake is for those still living who are aware of their own mortality, but what is a living wake?
Perhaps they are aware that they are nearer to the end of their life than the beginning. It does not matter how close to the end of their life they are.
The difference between a living wake and a traditional wake is that the person who is celebrating their life is present at the celebration. Stories are shared with food, drink, music and merriment, just like a tradional wake but the person is present.
#3 The healing power of a Living Wake
A living wake offers many benefits of a funeral and a traditional wake. First of all, they gather your people around you. You have the opportunity to hug or hold hands. It is so important to revel in the healing power of touch when we are sad. There is a great deal of scientific evidence which grows daily proving the vital importance of communal gathering and the terrible impact of social isolation.
You get to share your stories and make meaning of your shared lives. You get to celebrate the good and come to terms with the less easy aspects of your life experiences. Best of all, you get to eat, drink, be merry, and express sadness all at once.
5 Things to Consider when Arranging a Living Wake
#1 The venue
Choose a meaningful place for your Living Wake. You can have a living wake anywhere, and I will cover some ideas in another blog post. Suffice to say that there are no limits whatsoever…you can even have one at a festival if you like!
#2 The people; who to invite and how to invite
When deciding who to invite to your Living Wake, think about the people who have made a significant impact on your life. This could include close family members, dear friends, colleagues, and even acquaintances who have been meaningful to you.
Consider how you want to extend the invitation—whether through personal letters, phone calls, or a general announcement. Be sure to clearly communicate the purpose and tone of the event, so everyone understands it’s a celebration of life rather than a traditional farewell.
#3 Food and drink
The food and drink at your Living Wake can set the tone for the gathering. Whether you prefer a casual potluck, a catered event, or a simple selection of your favorite dishes, choose something that reflects your personality and tastes.
You might opt for comfort foods that evoke memories or foods from different cultures that you’ve enjoyed throughout your life. Don’t forget to consider any dietary restrictions of your guests to ensure everyone can partake in the meal.
#4 How you want to feel / what makes you feel safe
Creating a sense of emotional and physical safety at your Living Wake is crucial. Think about the atmosphere that makes you feel most comfortable—whether it’s a cozy, intimate setting with soft lighting and your favorite music, or a more vibrant, celebratory environment with laughter and lively conversation.
It’s important to set boundaries if needed and communicate them to your guests. This could include limiting certain types of discussions or having a quiet space where you can retreat if you need a moment to yourself.
#5 What you would like to do / need to say
Your Living Wake is an opportunity to express yourself in whatever way feels right. Consider what you want to do during the event—whether it’s sharing stories, listening to music, watching a slideshow of memories, or simply spending time with loved ones. This is also a chance to say what you need to say, whether it’s expressing gratitude, sharing life lessons, or resolving unfinished business. Some people might want to prepare a speech, write letters, or even have an open mic for others to share their thoughts. Whatever you choose, make sure it feels authentic to you.
CAPTION: Activites at a Living Wake
My passion and mission around Living Wakes
At a Living Wake with me, you will get extra value in the form of a keepsake story. I use the Living Wake as a vehicle for sharing your stories, hearing them, writing them and creating a small story book as a keepsake. This can then be used later if needed depending on your decision.
After living through so many bereavements and conducting hundreds of Celebrations of Life over a decade, I have seen first-hand the healing power of funerals. I have also witnessed their decline in popularity and affordability. I can’t ignore the change in our culture or forget what I know about the essential role sharing our stories and being heard plays in grieving ‘well.
Living Wakes are my response to this societal shift and a chance to try new ways of doing what I do best… giving you or your people one last round of applause!
Conclusion
A living wake is a powerful and heartfelt way to celebrate life while creating lasting memories with loved ones. It offers an opportunity for individuals to connect, share stories, and express their appreciation in an environment filled with warmth and positivity.
Unlike traditional funerals, a living wake allows the person being honored to actively participate in their own celebration, providing a unique chance for closure and joy. This ceremony not only strengthens bonds among family and friends but also serves as a meaningful reminder of the importance of cherishing life and the relationships we hold dear.
Contact me with your questions, I’d love to hear from you.
Get involved – What is a Living Wake?
I want to serve my clients. It is so important to me to offer you what you need and not make assumptions about what you need.
I’m looking for your input and would love to know your thoughts on Living Wakes/Living Funerals. Please apply to do my Market Research by clicking the button below or contact me for a free chat and to share with me your thoughts about Living Wakes.
