Funerals for the Living
An Alternative Approach
Be The Star of Your Last Hurrah
Funerals for the Living is an alternative and positive approach to funerals.
Why do we wait until the end to share our stories and communicate our feelings to the ones we love? Imagine if we could say it all beforehand from the comfort of our favourite place and make memories that last forever.
At Funerals for the Living we are saying goodbye to the solemn, uninspiring ceremonies and instead, we gather our people, share our stories and celebrate life now.
Also known as living wakes, living funerals enable you to create new memories, reminisce on the old and start processing grief and preserve your life story as a legacy.
A celebration of life for all to enjoy, which is more about life than death
Contact me now for a FREE chemistry call. You can also download my free 5 Alternative Funeral Ideas to Inspire You.
IT’S MORE ABOUT LIFE, THAN DEATH – FUNERALS FOR THE LIVING
Are you feeling like this about funerals?
It’s never easy receiving life-changing news, but it’s even harder knowing you need to make plans for a funeral with little time to process.
If you or someone you love is facing life-changing news, you may feel that the only option is a funeral service, which isn’t what you want.
Even if you’re not facing life-changing news, as we grow older, our memories and cherished moments can begin to fade away.
Imagine if…
You could gather all of your favourite people in a place of your choice, eat, drink, tell your stories and record your life story for future generations to enjoy.
Instead of more fear, trepidation and anxiety, you can look forward to gathering your loved ones and sharing in a safe, happy place everything that makes you, you.
Your life becomes a celebrated moment, immortalised in this special moment for all to cherish and reside in a lovingly made keepsake.
“It really was the most perfect day. My friend chose Jess herself knowing she was end of life so Jess got to meet her. She is perfect for the job!”
– Sarah
FUNERALS FOR THE LIVING – CELEBRATE NOW
Celebrate the good and share your stories
Celebrate Life with Funerals for the Living
If the idea of a traditional funeral feels distant or uncomfortable to you, then celebrating life through a funeral for the living might be exactly what you’re looking for.
Funerals for the living offer a unique opportunity to gather loved ones together to celebrate the good times and share the real, beautiful, and honest stories of the person you love.
Escape the Norm with Funerals for the Living
We all know the gloomy, drab atmosphere of a traditional funeral held in a cold, impersonal building. Funerals for the Living provide an alternative—a chance to gather, hug, laugh, cry, eat and drink together, rather than delivering a soulless eulogy that fails to capture you or your loved one. These are joyous, truthful occasions filled with colour, warmth, and the vibrancy that reflects the life being honoured.
Everyone Is Included—Even the Person You’re Celebrating
The best part of living funerals? No one misses out, not even the person at the heart of the celebration. I have over a decade of experience of leading and holding space for life events like these. I can facilitate your celebration, helping you navigate this difficult time and allowing your grief to be shared and carried as a group. A living funeral brings people together, fostering a sense of connection and support that’s often missing in conventional ceremonies.
The Growing Popularity of Funerals for the Living
Societal views on traditional funerals are shifting, with many finding the conventional approach increasingly unsatisfactory. But when a traditional funeral doesn’t resonate with you, it can be difficult to know where to turn. That’s where living funerals come in.
Why Choose Funerals for the Living?
Funerals for the living offer the perfect alternative—a celebration of life that can be customised to reflect the true essence of the person being honoured. A living funeral allows you to celebrate in any location and in any way that feels right.
If these words resonate with you, a living funeral might be precisely what you’ve been searching for—a meaningful, vibrant, and inclusive way to honour life and love.
A guided process with a fully accredited double award-winning Funeral Celebrant with over a decade of experience.
INTRODUCING MY UNIQUE CEREMONY
FUNERALS FOR THE LIVING SERVICE
BEFORE
Funerals for the Living – The Outline
We will get to know each other through an online meeting where you can share your vision of the day.
This is where I can answer your questions and provide options and possibilities to guide the organisation of The Living Funeral.
We will discuss your person’s life, work out your wants and needs and begin to build the story. I will create an outline of the Living Funeral.
Any further questions or concerns about who is involved, as well as any unique ideas can be included.
DURING
Funerals for the Living
The day has arrived… because of our careful planning, your special occasion will be personal and joyful.
Once all of the logistics are in place, The technical set up will be done, the venue ready and after a brief regroup, any last minute details will be finalised.
Then as we start to welcome your guests your celebration will begin. I will be on hand to support you fully during the celebration.
Memories and contributions from your guests will take place and everything will be captured for the eulogy and keepsake.
AFTER
Funerals for the Living – The Keepsake
This is the chance to have a physical story and memory of the beautiful life lived, captured and remembered.
This beautifully written heartfelt story is there for you and your family to keep and cherish forever.
The Keepsake can be turned into a eulogy to be used at a later date for a Celebration of Life.
Optional extras: Footage from the day itself can be captured into photos and / or be made into an edited, finalised video.
What are Funerals for the Living?
A New Way to Celebrate Life in the UK
Funerals for the living are a fresh and alternative to traditional funerals, now gaining popularity in the UK.
Unlike the usual ceremonies held after someone has passed, a living funeral lets you be part of your own celebration. It’s a chance to gather with friends and family, share stories, and enjoy each other’s company while reflecting on the good times.
Whether you want something simple or a bit more organised, a funeral for the living can be whatever you want it to be.
The Easygoing Nature of Funerals for the Living
Funerals for the living are all about connection and memories, without the formality of a traditional funeral. These events are more casual, designed to bring together your favourite people in a relaxed setting.
There’s no need for a strict schedule—just a chance to reminisce, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. It’s about celebrating life in a way that feels natural and true to you.
Capture the Moments – Keepsake Books from Funerals for the Living
One of the nicest touches of a funeral for the living is creating a keepsake book. As stories and memories are shared during the gathering, they can be jotted down and turned into a special memento.
This book becomes a lasting reminder of the connections and moments shared, something to look back on and treasure. It’s a simple yet meaningful way to keep the spirit of the day alive.
Living Funerals in the Press. The story of Annie Werner.
CREDIT: Annie Werner, whose terminal breast cancer has metastasised to her liver and bones, held a living wake on the New South Wales south coast, near Bega. Photograph: Jay Black. Article: The Guardian.
What is a Living Wake? Is it the same as a Living Funeral?
Read my blog about Living Wakes and Living Funerals. Learn about the different ways in which we can celebrate life before death.
A Living Funeral doesn’t have to be a big party or like attending an ‘actual funeral’. A Living Funeral is not quite the same as a Living Wake. Read my blog to find out more.
BBC2 Documentary’Living Every Second’
CREDIT. photo Neil Bonner. BBC2. With a party in a Cornish cathedral featuring Dawn French (dressed as a vicar), Fearne Cotton, a cardboard coffin, and hundreds of friends, Kris Hallenga’s ‘FUN-eral’ (living funeral) is the opening of a documentary that tells the story of Britain’s most famous and vivacious cancer campaigner. In 2013, Kris made a film about her life for the BBC.
MORE ABOUT the BBC2 Documentary’Living Every Second’ THE STORY OF KRIS HALLENGA and her Living ‘FUNeral’.
CREDIT.
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Published
“It almost looked like she was walking on clouds that day,” says Maren Sheldon, twin sister of the late breast cancer campaigner, Kris Hallenga.
Maren is remembering the “living FUNeral” her sister had organised last year in Truro Cathedral in Cornwall.
Funerals for the Living Client Love
Made a sad, difficult time a bit easier…
“Jess was kind, intelligent, compassionate and interested in our family. She was very supportive and caring and really made a sad, difficult time a bit easier. Very grateful to her.”
– Nancy
It was one of the most wonderful days
“Jess is the most amazing human and even more amazing celebrant.
Jess delivered my friend’s woodland burial at Westall Park, and although it was a truly sad occasion it was one of the most wonderful days. Sincere, bright, well-composed and appropriately humorous.
It went way beyond anything I was expecting. If you’re reading this you already know you’re going to book her. She’s amazing. Do it. “
– Sarah
Memories are in the forefront of our thoughts
“She took us back to our childhood, bringing back happy memories that had been forgotten over the years. This really helped us through the sad, heart-wrenching time we had with him in the months leading up to his passing. I’m happy to say that those childhood memories are now in the forefront of our thoughts and for this I can’t thank Jess enough. She is amazing 🤩.”
– Amanda
Truly an amazing spirit
“Thank you again from the bottom of my heart you truly are an amazing spirit and I felt it flow through me when you took my hands in yours xx”
– Margaret
Jess enabled a joyous celebration…
“Jess was the best celebrant – funerals are never fun, but Jess enabled a joyous celebration of a life very well lived and very much loved – thank you”
– Fiona
Jess met my sister and arranged her celebration
“Jess is an exceptional celebrant. I was lucky that Jess met my sister and arranged her celebration of life before she died. As Jess spoke you could tell the amount of time she had spoken with my sister and her friends so it was such a personal tribute. Jess spent so much time preparing, making sure that the day ran perfectly, you could feel her passion for her job. Jess is a beautiful person, who did a beautiful service for a beautiful day.”
– Jane
My Mission Around Funerals for the Living
I’m jess May, Funerals for the Living celebrant
Funerals are basically going out of fashion. Since 2013 I have devised creative ceremonies for people at every stage of life including funerals.
When it became clear post-covid that more and more people were choosing not to have ceremonies for their loved ones after they had died I started to ask a few questions of you, the people I serve.
This is what you told me…”I don’t want a funeral”, “I don’t see the point if I’m not there to be a part of it”, “it is a waste of money if I’m not there to enjoy it”, “Why cant we all meet up beforehand instead of waiting until it’s too late?” and even “I love the idea of having a funeal before I die, so that is what I’m having…”
Well, I asked, you told me and I listened. Your wish is my command and I set about becoming the UK’s 1st specialist in this area.
There has been a significant rise in interest around Living Funerals, which are also called Living Wakes, Funerals for the Living or Celebrations of Life for the living.
What you are telling me is that you want to celebrate now, while you are all still together, so you can say your goodbyes, your thank yous and laugh together.
You told me that you don’t want to have yet another ceremony for a person who died only to feel sad because they weren’t there to enjoy it. I’m here for you, together we can create celebrations that are more about life than death.
Contact me to discuss a Living Funeral you are arranging
Funerals for the Living – Frequently Asked Questions
How will I approach a Funeral for the Living with the people I love?
This is a new way of approaching death. It could be a tricky topic. But they will want you to have what you want. That is important to remember. It is also a good idea to ask someone to be with you when you propose it. You can also be careful about how you introduce it. Perhaps you could refer to it as a ‘party’ or a ‘get together’.
Where can I have a Funeral for the Living?
1. Private Residences
- Seafront Apartments or Houses: Hosting a living funeral in a seafront home can provide beautiful views of the ocean, adding a serene and natural atmosphere to the event.
- Country Homes Near Brighton: Renting a country home or cottage in the nearby South Downs National Park offers a peaceful and scenic environment, just a short drive from the city.
2. Event Spaces
- Brighton Dome: A historic and versatile venue, the Brighton Dome offers various spaces that can be adapted for a living funeral, providing a mix of grandeur and history.
- The Grand Brighton: This iconic hotel on the seafront has beautiful function rooms that can be used for a more formal gathering, complete with catering and accommodation options for guests.
3. Outdoor Venues
- Brighton Beach: Hosting a living funeral on Brighton Beach can offer a relaxed and natural setting, especially during the warmer months. You could arrange for a marquee or simple setup on the pebbles for a unique experience.
- Stanmer Park: Located just outside the city, Stanmer Park offers vast green spaces and woodland, ideal for an outdoor gathering surrounded by nature.
- Devil’s Dyke: For those who appreciate stunning views, Devil’s Dyke in the South Downs offers a dramatic landscape and a peaceful setting for a living funeral.
4. Religious Institutions
- St. Peter’s Church: A prominent and beautiful church in Brighton, St. Peter’s can host a living funeral in a traditional and sacred setting.
- Brighton Buddhist Centre: If a more spiritual or non-denominational setting is preferred, the Brighton Buddhist Centre offers serene spaces for reflective gatherings.
5. Specialty Venues
- The Reading Room on Madeira Drive
- a fabulous newly renovated Georgian era Reading Room right on the seafront in Kemptown.
6. Hospices or Care Facilities
- Martlets Hospice: Located in Hove, Martlets Hospice is a well-regarded facility that could potentially host a living funeral, offering a compassionate and supportive environment.
- Nursing Homes in Brighton: If you’re residing in a nursing home, many facilities in Brighton are equipped to assist in hosting such events, making it easier for residents and staff to participate.
7. Cultural or Historical Venues
- The Royal Pavilion: A symbol of Brighton’s rich history, the Royal Pavilion offers a unique and opulent setting for a living funeral, with stunning architecture and gardens.
- Brighton Museum & Art Gallery: For a cultural twist, consider the Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, where you can host a gathering surrounded by art and history.
8. Virtual Living Funeral
- Online Platforms: Brighton’s reliable internet infrastructure supports hosting a virtual living funeral on platforms like Zoom or Microsoft Teams, allowing participation from friends and family across the globe.
How Jess May Can Enhance Your Funerals for the Living Experience
Jess May, as a skilled and empathetic celebrant, can facilate your living funeral experience by ensuring it’s both meaningful and stress-free. Here’s how she can make your living funeral truly special:
Personalised Planning
Jess takes the time to understand your unique wishes and personality, crafting a ceremony that reflects who you are. Whether you want a relaxed, informal gathering or a more structured event, Jess tailors every detail to match your vision.
Stress-Free Co-ordination
Organising any event can be overwhelming, especially when emotions are involved. Jess handles all the logistics, from coordinating with venues to managing the flow of the event, so you can focus on enjoying the day with your loved ones.
Creating a Warm Atmosphere
With her calm and compassionate presence, Jess ensures that everyone feels comfortable and at ease. She gently guides the event, encouraging heartfelt sharing and connection, while keeping the atmosphere light and positive.
Capturing Memories
Jess can help facilitate the creation of a keepsake book, recording the stories and memories shared during your living funeral. This thoughtful touch provides you and your family with a cherished memento to remember the day.
Support and Guidance
Throughout the entire process, Jess is there to support you and your loved ones. Her experience with living funerals allows her to offer valuable advice and guidance, ensuring that the event is a beautiful, memorable celebration of your life.
With Jess May as your celebrant, your living funeral will be a meaningful, personalised experience that honours your life in the way you want.
Funerals for the Living like attending your own funeral?
Similarities:
Celebration of Life: Both a living funeral and a traditional funeral focus on celebrating and reflecting on the life of the individual. A living funeral allows people to express their appreciation and share memories while the person is still alive.
Gathering of Loved Ones: In both cases, friends and family come together to honor and support the individual, creating a sense of community and connection.
Differences:
Timing: A living funeral is held while the person is still alive, often during a period of serious illness or as a way to prepare for the end of life. A traditional funeral occurs after the person has passed away.
Purpose: The primary purpose of a living funeral is to give the individual a chance to hear what others have to say about them and to experience the celebration of their life firsthand. This can be a way for them to find closure and satisfaction. In contrast, a traditional funeral focuses on honouring the person’s memory after their death.
Experience: Attending a living funeral allows the person to interact with their guests, share their own reflections, and participate in the celebration. This personal involvement can be deeply meaningful for both the individual and their loved ones.
Funerals for the Living something we could just do by ourselves?
A living funeral can be organised independently, allowing you to create a deeply personal and meaningful event to celebrate your life while you’re still present. You can choose the venue, plan the programme, and manage invitations according to your preferences. Whether hosted at home, in a park, or at a community space, a DIY living funeral provides the opportunity to hear and experience the appreciation of your loved ones firsthand.
However, having a professional celebrant run the event can offer distinct advantages. A celebrant brings experience and expertise in organising and conducting such gatherings, ensuring that the event is smooth, well-structured, and tailored to your wishes. They can manage logistical details, coordinate with guests, and handle any emotional complexities, allowing you to focus on the meaningful aspects of the celebration.
A celebrant’s guidance can help create a polished and impactful event, ensuring that your living funeral meets your vision while providing a comforting and professionally managed experience for both you and your guests.
Can you make it so that I'm not 'centre of attention' at my own Funerals for the Living, I don't like the limelight.
If you prefer not to be the focus of attention, we can create an event which includes everyone and is truly communal and about all present as a gathering
We can arrange the event so that you are never put front and centre on a stage or have all the attention focused on you.
By allowing someone else to handle the formalities and speeches, you can ensure that the spotlight remains on the collective celebration rather than on you.
A professional celebrant can also help by managing the event in a way that respects your desire for privacy while still creating a meaningful occasion for your loved ones. This approach allows you to enjoy the celebration without the discomfort of being the main focus.