ABOUT JESS MAY. Crazy Diamonds Funeral Queen
Hello Everybody! I’m Jess May, founder of Crazy Diamonds Celebrations of Life and your very own Crazy Diamonds Funeral Queen. I’m the UK’s 1st Living Funerals Specialist.
My approach is unique and breaks away from the traditional norms of dark, drab funeral ceremonies and formal, awkward occasions.
Inspired by my own personal loss, my mission is to create meaningful, personalised ceremonies that honour and celebrate lives of people before they die in a vibrant, memorable way.
Funerals are going out of fashion and now is the time to celebrate with celebrations that are more about Life than Death. You can be the star of your last hurrah.
Read my back story to find out more…
MY STORY
I believed my calling was my faith. Serving God, serving the Church and those who were in need. I dedicated ten years of my life to become a Vicar. But this wasn’t meant to be and instead I became a Celebrant…
My sister, Jan
My Career, Her Legacy
By the time I was in my mid-40s, I had lost my grandparents, my brother-in-law, several aunts, both my Mum and Dad and the woman who has inspired this journey from the start: my sister.
When Jan was 62, she knew she was dying. She was a person who loved traditions, a Christian and like all doting mothers, she wished to see her daughter get married. Whilst her daughter was not of the same beliefs, she knew she did not want to take this opportunity from her mother in her final, precious months.
And so, I began my training as a Celebrant.
My calling was now to my family, quite literally by my niece, who asked me to be her Celebrant. It was there, in The Algarve, in the presence of my loved ones that I discovered my true purpose.
If this was to be the last event my sister would attend, it was to be a beautiful moment for us to share. Surrounded by beauty, love, and new beginnings.
We will all suffer loss in our lives, but nobody can take away the memory of this magical day.
Ready to leave the church
Telling my own story
It is no secret that I wanted to be a good, faithful servant.
I was devout, perhaps even a little fanatical at the time. But when all of my people died something about that experience was liberating. I found that within me was a more vibrant self who had been waiting to be allowed to shine. I couldn’t shine as myself in church.
My journey took a different direction from the Priesthood. When I said goodbye to the church, I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t, and became what I am.
Leaving the church was not an easy decision, nor was it done as a statement. I could no longer try to achieve the pre-requisite characteristics of being special, holy, good, or important.
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
Living life in full colour
Mrinal & Me
Zero Shades of Grey
For the longest time I felt ‘grey’, which would have been fine if grey was actually my colour. But something was wrong, I didn’t know it at that time but inside myself I was bursting with colour.
When I left the church it was with sadness, like a break up and I still feel gratitude for it and all that we shared but ultimately I just couldn’t be fully myself in that context.
What was interesting was that when I left I felt a cloud of grey leave me and my colours started to emerge and to shine.
After all…
“A diamond is just a lump of coal that stuck to its job.”
It was at this time I fell in love with Mrinal, the first person to see me in full colour, in full daylight, as me.
I have learned that when we celebrate ourselves, applaud our true inner selves and path we start to shine. Selflessness is really not the best way to live, becoming more fully ourselves is really how we serve others. It emerged as my life’s mission to help your other people to shine as themselves. My ceremonies for your loved ones shine with the essence of their true selves.
Celebrating life
A round of applause
I am not proud of this but I realised quite late in my career that for a long time I did ceremonies for the wrong reasons. I did it for the applause, I didn’t feel seen as myself and so I enjoyed hearing the praise and revelling in the compliments.
I needed this because I couldn’t celebrate myself at that time, I was so busy being ‘selfless’ that I had forgotten who I really was. I no longer believe that ‘selflessness’ is a virtue. I think that respecting and cherishing ourselves is much healthier. Once I started applauding myself I didn’t need it from other people.
Now that I know myself and my mission I am much more interested in making sure that you or your loved ones get one lasts round of applause.
It brings me joy to know that you and yours are being seen as yourselves and applauded for all that you are.
Let’s applaud a life lived rather than a life lost.
Jess May is a double-award-winning Civil Funeral Celebrant accredited by The Fellowship of Professional Celebrants since 2013. Jess is a renowned Brighton Funeral Celebrant, celebrated for her vibrant and inclusive approach to ceremonies. She holds a First Class Degree in Theology and Contemporary Spirituality from The University of Birmingham. Over the past decade, Jess has crafted unique ceremonies for a diverse array of individuals, from high-profile figures to local legends. Her career spans roles in Interfaith Relations, Project Management, Neurodiverse theatre, British Sign Language interpreting, and Hospice Care.