ABOUT JESS MAY
Hello, I’m a Civil Celebrant specialising in alternative funerals and life celebrations.
My approach is unique and breaks away from the traditional norms of dark, drab funeral ceremonies and formal, awkward occasions.
Inspired by my own personal loss, my mission is to create meaningful, personalised ceremonies that honour and celebrate lives in a vibrant, memorable way.
Read my back story to find out more…
MY BACK STORY
I believed my calling was my faith. Serving God, serving the Church and those who were in need. I dedicated ten years of my life to become a Vicar. But this wasn’t meant to be and instead I became a Celebrant…
My sister, Jan
My Career, Her Legacy
By the time I was in my mid-40s, I had lost my grandparents, my brother-in-law, several aunts, both my Mum and Dad and the woman who has inspired this journey from the start: my sister.
When Jan was 62, she knew she was dying. She was a person who loved traditions, a Christian and like all doting mothers, she wished to see her daughter get married. Whilst her daughter was not of the same beliefs, she knew she did not want to take this opportunity from her mother in her final, precious months.
And so, I began my training as a Celebrant.
My calling was now to my family, quite literally by my niece, who asked me to be her Celebrant. It was there, in The Algarve, in the presence of my loved ones that I discovered my true purpose.
If this was to be the last event my sister would attend, it was to be a beautiful moment for us to share. Surrounded by beauty, love, and new beginnings.
We will all suffer loss in our lives, but nobody can take away the memory of this magical day.
Ready to leave the church
25:23 Now Departing
Well done my good and faithful servant”, The Gospel According to Matthew.
It is no secret that I wanted to be a good, faithful servant.
My journey took a different direction. When I said goodbye to the church, I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t, and became what I am.
Leaving the church was not an easy decision, nor was it done as a statement. I could no longer try to achieve the pre-requisite characteristics of being special, holy, good, or important.
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
Living life in full colour
Mrinal, my love
Zero Shades of Grey
There is a moment during a sunrise where you first feel the heat of the sun on your face and see the light emerging from beyond. This can feel like a metaphor for an abundance of moments in life. For me, it is precisely what happened.
When I left the church, my sun rose. I removed the cloud of grey hanging over me, and both physically and literally, removed the grey clothing I had been concealing myself in for all these years.
After all…
“A diamond is just a lump of coal that stuck to its job.”
It was at this time I fell in love with Mrinal, the first person to see me in full colour, in full daylight, as me.
Now I look to cast my light upon others, to illuminate the streets with my rainbow of colours and help your loved ones to shine. To ensure that everyone sees the good, bad, ugly, and even downright bizarre parts.
Filling my cup
A Round of Applause, Please
Like all good storytellers, we long to hear an applause as our story ends. Applause brings us affirmation, an audible confirmation that we have succeeded, and people are happy.
After losing my father, it felt like someone had muted my applause. I was desperate to fill the void with a ‘role’ that would satisfy these needs.
The truth is, embarrassingly, that I was drawn to my role as an attempt to achieve applause, to achieve affirmation and to fill my cup.
Knowing the joy and ecstasy that something as simple as clapping our hands together in unison can bring, I now long to bring this feeling to your special person.
So, let’s raise the roof. Let’s applaud a life lived rather than a life lost.
This is my story, what’s yours?
Jess May is a double-award-winning Civil Funeral Celebrant accredited by The Fellowship of Professional Celebrants since 2013. Jess is a renowned Brighton Funeral Celebrant, celebrated for her vibrant and inclusive approach to ceremonies. She holds a First Class Degree in Theology and Contemporary Spirituality from The University of Birmingham. Over the past decade, Jess has crafted unique ceremonies for a diverse array of individuals, from high-profile figures to local legends. Her career spans roles in Interfaith Relations, Project Management, Neurodiverse theatre, British Sign Language interpreting, and Hospice Care.